ONE MONTH DOWN... to drain!

One month had passed already since internship started. One month down to drain-- wasted time. I was not able to 'REALLY STUDY' to the 'REAL SENSE' of that word. Yeah, i read a LOT but most of the time, there's no retention. and it's useless right? Internship is the only time I can read most of our textbooks in Medicine but it seems that I am STILL ADJUSTING and it's DISGUSTING!

Can I just go to SOME NICE PLACE, ISOLATE MYSELF so that I can READ? FUDGE! I am soooo hating the feeling of not being able to fathom a thing because I was not able to finish reading a certain topic. NO GOOD. really! 

BOOOO! Seriously. *sigh*

Of BULLSHITS and everything I DETEST!

It seems that I'd be a constant visitor-slash-writer in this blog again. After like gazillion years. I am just friggin fudgin feeling bad. And i just hate the feeling-- cause i tend to be unproductive, lazy, undetermined and i always lose my focus. I badly wanna scream my heart out-- til i couldn't hear my own heartbeat. I'm not hating myself-- but i am just NOT ME TODAY! This isn't me. SERIOUSLY! 

i say, F*____# YOU!

i rarely do this. see, I'm not really good in badmouthing someone. but right now, i just wanna tell him straight right in his face, 'F*** YOU'. Dah. you think so much of yourself. How pathetic. I am so pissed. Stop pretending! It sucks to actually feel this way. I mean, duh! YOU ALWAYS THINK OF YOURSELF. Friggin FROGGY! SHUT THE HELL UP!

THIS. SLAP YOUR FRIGGIN UGLY FACE with these words!